spring baby
hey there - it’s the start of a new season :) I always associated spring with my birthday, but besides that spring has always been characterised by themes of rebirth, growth and the period where all the animals awake from hibernation. Staying on theme, this blog’s all about growth and comfort zones. enjoy <3
the cliche:
One thing I’ve heard a lot is ‘step out of your comfort zone!’ and yes it definitely is easier said than done but also, choosing things that literally put us in discomfort goes against the grain of how we’re built to survive. I don’t think stepping outside of our comfort zones needs to be as conscious as this saying implies. Usually, we step outside of our comfort zone when we’re surrounded by people or in a situation where the thing that is ‘outrageous’ for us is their norm. And for some reason, it makes it that much easier to do. Take teenage daredevils for an example; we think what drove them to do that? It’s the context, something maybe alone they wouldn’t do or would be too scared to do but when placed in a situation where ‘it’s just what we do’ it becomes that much more comfortable. Apply the same psychology but of course, don’t put your life at risk.
It can be a different group of people, a different setting, a different time of day but actions that are risky, uncomfortable or ‘not you’ can be done and with more ease or automaticity than you may anticipate.
an everyday moment:
So this moment happened just two days ago. I was in an open class and the chore we were learning had pretty technical floor work that I never imagined myself being able to execute in that same lesson. And yet, everyone in that class, including me continuously attempted the floor work. You can bet that I did not get it the first time, I was still thinking I would not get it and was borderline scared I was going to twist something the wrong way. Some of us got it, some of us didn’t. I was in that in-between and I felt firstly, super intimidated by the chore, surprised I actually got the hand of some of it and lastly a bit discouraged. Before we rehearsed in groups, our teacher stopped us and asked us questions that we were to answer in our heads.
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does this feel weird? (YESYESYES),
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am I trying something new or different?
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am I learning something from this?
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do I just go for it?
It can be so easy to discount aspects of my experience when I’m learning something new and just be clouded with the thoughts ‘why can’t I do this yet? why does this not feel easy? etc.’ and it can fuel frustration, anger and lead to putting unnecessary pressure on myself. And when I don’t give myself the grace to learn, to fail, to try again - the activity itself becomes something to avoid, it’s not enjoyable and it’s a reminder of me not being good at something YET. When she asked those questions, I realised that there were other aspects of my experience I was forgetting to acknowledge, and which encourage me to treat my learning curve with grace. And I think those 4 questions are ones I will continually prompt myself with.
spring = an era to bloom
The idea of ‘blooming’ seems so soft-hearted and graceful but growth is anything but (as you’ve likely read). Growth involves treating yourself with enough grace and patience when you fall - because growth implies stretching beyond the boundaries of what you CAN do, it means building experience and confidence in what you CAN’T do so they become the new boundaries of what you CAN do. Moral of the story: growth requires failure - and falling hurts. Being able to give grace to yourself even when you feel weak, doubtful is what is graceful about growth.
And we’ve all witnessed someone disproportionately get frustrated or lose patience at someone still learning - chances are, they’re also still learning to give themselves grace and their resistance to doing so (or refusal to do so because anyone normal would not need that) holds them back from trying what they dream of.
on comfort zones: there’s a debate on whether you can be comfortable and grow at the same time. I think we have a continuum of comfort and at the very middle where it bridges into discomfort, that is the sweet spot for growth. It’s that action that you can take that may feel so so so so risky for you but if the consequences are not severe (other than you feeling like you might die if you try). e.g. buying a house in another country is a super big step out of the comfort zone (and our minds usually jump to these extremes when asked to step out of our comfort zones), but maybe it’s doing something much smaller (with lower risk) that is just as scary and it STILL COUNTS e.g. applying for a different job.
an important excerpt
from my fav youtuber <3
september mantras:
- Only when you fall and get back up do you realise what you are made of.
- I hate the idea of falling/failing and it’s easy to speculate ‘what if’s’ - e.g. what if I fail so bad that I can’t get back up. I can speculate so much about my capability and underestimate it so much but chances are; I pre-emptively underestimate my capability and strength because I have not given myself the chance to demonstrate it.
- May I treat myself and others with grace. pressure builds tension and won’t make things faster.
spring reads <3
Some of the books I’m reading right now and my favourite quotes from them:
- Origin by Dan Brown
Read this if you’re looking for something fast-paced, action packed but also a bit philosophical.
'If we could look into the human mind and read it's operating system, we would find something like this...despise chaos. create order.'
'our brains rejoice...the same rejoicing in the creation of order that prompts humans to assemble jigsaw puzzles or straighten paintings on a wall'
- The Dead Body in The Garden
Read this if you like a cosy murder mystery !
'The empty windows and still curtains were a lie, of course'
- Second Place by Rachel Cusk
Did I pick this book up for the cover - yes :) - I’m obsessed with the covers of her books. Will update on my favourite quote once I’ve started reading it.
To everyone with mid-sems, assignments or anything challenging - you’ve got this ! (and even if you don’t, life didn’t end from the last time you had the exact same experience of thinking you couldn’t do it)
wishing you sunshine this spring and less of this wind 🌞
from,
the heart <3